To sleep or not to sleep???

That is the question I was asking myself last night, repeatedly, from about 9pm until about 12:30am. Brock (I know, you're shocked! He normally sleeps so well!) was waking up about every 1/2 hour, screaming and screaming. I would go in, comfort him, and we'd start again in another 1/2 hour.

Now, before you judge.....he'd been sleeping through the night for the 3 nights prior to this, which, for Brock, is HUGE. Plus, I had taken his temperature before bed because he felt warm and he had a small fever of 100.5. So, with all of that being said, I knew he wasn't just trying to get my attention. I knew he wasn't feeling great. Although, I'm sure a little was just because he

wanted to see his mama.

Back to the story - I've been battling a nasty cold, myself, and I was EXHAUSTED! Plus, I was having a hard enough time sleeping on my own because I was coughing so much. When 12:30am rolled around and I couldn't forsee a future of sleeping, I did the only thing I could think to do. I made the most damaging decision. I plucked my sweet Brock from his bed, nose running, screaming and exhausted, carried him down the hall, and laid him in my bed, right next to me. Yep, I did it. I let him sleep with me. ALL NIGHT LONG.

Also, you should know that Nigel was not at home, because if he was, this never would have happened. He would have never allowed such a decision to be made. He's got a whole lot more willpower than I do. He would have just listened to Brock cry as long as it took. Me, I CAN'T do it. I'm physically unable to listen to him cry any longer than what is necessary. I just can't. I'm weak.

Last night I got kicked in the face repeatedly, woken up by Brock's constant flipping and turning and rolling and jerking, woke up in a panic wondering if Brock was too close to the edge, and slept horribly uncomfortably to make sure he was doing just fine. And you know what? I LOVED every single minute of it. I only made him go back to his own bed at 6:50 this morning when Nigel came home from work and wanted to sleep in his bed, alone. But I don't regret it even one bit. Not even if it costs me extra sleep tonight or tomorrow. I know that my baby isn't much of a baby anymore and these moments will become fewer and fewer, and I know that someday, I'm going to miss this so much. So, I am proud to say that I slept with Brock, in my bed, all night long. And I would do it again and again and again. Not every night, but every once in a while, I'll snuggle my baby as long as I possibly can =)