Daddy's little boy....

Sons have always a rebellious wish to be disillusioned by that which charmed their fathers. ~Aldous Huxley

Caden is completely, utterly, entirely daddy's little boy. The relationship growing between them is beautiful to watch bloom. When Caden was a baby he was madly in love with mommy, as most babies are. As he's grown, he only has eyes for daddy. Well, that's not true. He at least asks for me when he falls down and scrapes up his knee :) As it should be.

But, that's about the only time that my presence is requested. Otherwise, I'm always answering this question....."Mom, when's Dad coming home?"

Nigel is an amazing father to Caden (Brock, too, but Brock doesn't desire Daddy time quite yet).

Caden walks and talks like Nigel. He dresses like Nigel. He eats like Nigel (their favorite food is macaroni 'n' cheese and hot dogs!). He loves Nigel's music. Caden is an adrenaline junky just like Nigel. They play the same, they joke the same. They are pretty much identical.

Here are a few of my favorite things that Caden says about Nigel....

"When I'm big like Daddy and I drive a police car like Daddy, I'll get to shoot bad guys just like Daddy does." (Obviously Nigel doesn't actually shoot anyone!)

"Mom, me and Dad are best buddies. Well, you're our girl best buddy. But Dad's my best buddy."

Caden looks up to Nigel in such a huge way. I am just so blessed that my son has a role model as wonderful as Nigel. Caden's going to grow up to be an amazing man if he continues to follow in all of his daddy's footsteps. I love these boys :)

Notice that Caden's covering his face so that he looks just like Nigel looks :)

Stretching with daddy, after a long run!

This picture was taken when Nigel was still in Academy. This was Caden's mean face. He constantly talked (and still does) about getting the bad guys! He'll make an excellent Trooper someday :)

A mama's woes.....

I have learned so much since having Brock. He's a completely different experience than Caden.

-Brock loves nursing and wants his mama all the time. Caden seemed to dislike nursing (or eating, for that matter) from the beginning and once he got mobile, he wanted to be independent.

-Brock laughs so easily. Caden demanded a perfect performace to get the slightest giggle.

-Brock is a horrible sleeper. I rarely know when he'll sleep and how long he'll sleep for. Caden started sleeping through the night at 2 1/2 months old and never looked back. He was on a very consistent routine that he set for himself.

-Brock doesn't want to sit on your lap, contained, for any amount of time. This means, no snuggling (unless he's ready for bed, then he'll snuggle his mama for a long time), no reading books. Caden loved it when we handed him his ducky, scooped him up, and read him every book on his shelf 3 times :)

These are just a few of the noticeable differences in their completely unique personalities. I love them both so much. And so differently. I can't compare it. And here's what I've learned...

-Having 2 boys is amazing, fun, exhausting, crazy, foreign, exhausting, eye-opening, special, and did I mention exhausting??

-I can't meet both of their needs at the same time. Someone always has to wait. Thank goodness Caden is incredibly patient and forgiving because Brock definitely isn't :)

-I'm completely unsure what to do with all of this testosterone around me! Even the dog is a boy!!! (I think I really need a girl!)

-My husband totally "gets" Caden. I'm so confused by him.

-Little boys need their daddies almost more than their mommies. Or, they need what their daddies can give them because mommy doesn't wrestle right, play guns right, race cars right, or call names right! Doesn't anyone want to bake some cookies or paint their nails?!?

It's a new and different world for me, filled with love, emotions, hormones, stress, exhaustion, and.......depression. Yep, I got it. Good ole post-partum depression. For several months, I thought that all of the above things were just taking their toll on me (which they are). I thought that I was having a really hard time adjusting to life with 2 little boys (which I might be). I thought that I was fine (which I'm not). I honestly just thought that I was tired. I'm definitely tired, but I'm also not enjoying these precious little boys the way that I should be enjoying them. I'm so glad that I finally opened my eyes and realized that the way that I'm feeling is not normal and that it's definitely ok to say that something's not right. It's hard, really really hard, to give up the facade that I tried so hard to portray. But, it's better this way. It's better that everyone knows. I am in for a journey, to pull myself from the pit of this depression. However, I know I'm not alone. I have my friends, my family, and most important, God. I think He's the only one who's arms reach far enough to get me out of this hole :) I just wanted to share where I am because it's important that I stop pretending that I'm ok. I'm not, but I will be, and when I come out of this, I will appreciate this time in my life so much more than I can right now!

2010 is here.....

Ok, it's been quite a month for me. I've been busy and well, not blogging. More on that later..... I just wanted to quickly catch you all up on the years events. Here we go.....

To start the new year off, on New Year's Day.....Hans got MARRIED!!! My baby brother is married! Wow! He married his beautiful bride, Jessica, at a small ceremony at my parents house. It was beautiful, fun, and super crazy, just like Hans! Welcome to the family, Jessica :)

Cousin Angela came to visit.....although we decided that it was easier if the boys could just call her Auntie instead of saying, "My mom's cousin, Angela". So, I guess I should say Auntie Angela came to visit :) It was good to see you, Ang.

Brock got his first taste of popcorn, and loved it :)

We got a little snow, so Caden and Nigel built this snowman :) More pictures of him to come later....

continued.....

Brock's learned a lot of new skills - here are 2.....climbing into the fridge and climbing up ALL the stairs at my parents house. He was VERY proud of himself after this stair climb.

Caden's continued to amaze me daily with his smarts, his wit, his charm, his a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e, and his sweet little heart :)

Jude got to wear his suit (to Hans and Jessica's wedding, of course!). Doesn't he look so handsome??

This little fella, he's gotten much more vocal in a not-so-pleasant way. He's a SCREAMER!!!! A yeller, a screamer, a be-as-loud-as-I-can-to-get-what-I-want-NOW kind of baby :) Ahh, the joys! Hopefully he'll learn to use words SOON!!!!

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And perhaps our biggest thing so far.....Brock's trip to the Emergency Room. It was a Friday night at about 10:30pm when Brock woke up SCREAMING!! Now, even though screaming is normal for Brock, this was different. I tried for an hour to calm him down. He wanted nothing. He was writhing around, arching his back, and wouldn't even nurse. He loves nursing more than most anything else, so I knew something was up. So, my mom came over to be with Caden and Nigel, who was on duty at the time, met me at the ER. We waited and waited to get in, and when we did, we noticed a strange rash covering his entire body. The doctor finally saw him and the verdict was in.....allergic reaction to amoxicillen. Seems like Mr. Brock is VERY in tune with his body and most likely felt the reaction coming on before we could see it. It was a HUGE rash that I'm guessing was very itchy and uncomfortable, as he would rub his head on me, back and forth, as often as he could. Poor little guy :( After some Benadryl for a couple days, it went away, but not before it got much worse. Well, now we know. No penicillen or amoxicillen for this baby!

7 years later....

Nigel and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary on November 30th. I wanted to just show you what 7 years looks like for us....

Back then, we looked so young! Of course, we were really young. I was 19 and my handsome husband just 22. Fresh out of Coast Guard bootcamp. We got married on a Saturday evening and moved away 4 days later up to Bellingham, WA. What a time. So exciting and stressful, amazing and scary. We grew so much togther in Bellingham. We made amazing friends, had amazing experiences, and of course, started our little family up there. We will forever love and cherish the time we had in Bellingham!!!

And now!!! A little less hair for my husband, a couple extra pounds for me, and the addition of our two amazing little boys! What a difference 7 years can make....

Life has changed so much for us. We're in a completely different place than I thought we'd be. I was so sure that we'd be in the Coast Guard for life. Regardless of where I thought we'd be.....I couldn't be happier with where we are! I love my family and the life that we have begun.....can't wait to see what changes in the next 7 years (and then some more!).