My baby is 1!

A year has gone by.....already. I'm not sure how, but time is speeding up. Every moment disappears faster than the one before it. Does anybody know how to change this?!? No? Ok. I guess I'll just continue to cherish every single second of the moments. Not all moments should be saved, but the ones that should I will hold onto forever.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I thought I just might not survive another moment. I really thought that Brock would be the end of me. I didn't think I could, nor did I really want to, endure too many more of his "moments".

God has a special way of changing our hearts. I know He does. You know how?

Right now, when I look back on the first year of Brock's life, I only remember the sweet, tender, amazing, special, fun, laughing, playing, wonderful moments. I don't think about the months that I was awake all night long, exhausted to tears, crying out to God to send someone else to do my job. I don't think about the times that I thought that I might have to lock myself in the bathroom for a while so that I didn't harm my child. I don't think about every single tear shed in complete and utter desperation for Brock to please be "easy".

All I think about it is how abundantly blessed I am to have Brock. How his eyes look into mine and turn my whole day around. How his smile brings a smile to my heart and a tear to my eyes. How his giggle melts me and how his belly laugh absolutely brings sunshine into a cloudy day. I think about how wonderfully he has enriched our lives and how much we've grown as a family since his arrival. Brock is so much fun to be around and I'm excited for each day that I get with him now! A year seems like such a blink in the span of our lives, but my life has changed completely in the course of the blink.

My dear, sweet Brock-

Where do I start? There's so much to say to you, but I'm going to make this simple.

Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for challenging me to the very core of my being. If it weren't for you, I'd be stuck where I was. Because of you, I've changed. Oh, I've changed. You have changed me. You've forced me to be a better person, a better mom, a better wife. More patient and understanding, more sympathetic and empathetic. You have made me search for something that was missing - and at first I was searching in all the wrong places until I found the one place that I needed to be. You've helped me grow my relationship with God in ways I didn't know were possible.

Brock, you've come a long way in a year. I am amazed at you. You started walking at 10 months, you already know how much fun it is to get into stuff you're not supposed to be in. You are so naughty it's hilarious. You know when you're being naughty and you think it's the best thing ever. You pick on your big brother already. You two fight just like brothers should fight. You have an attitude. A serious attitude. I love it. I'm not going to love it in a couple years, but for now, I love it. You love nursing, STILL!!! I'm thrilled about this, since Caden had long since given up on this at your age. You still only say uh-oh, nothing else. You hit and throw tantrums, you scream and argue with us, and you have a strength that amazes me. I can't wait to see the many ways that you will change my life in the years to come, because if it's anything like the last year, bring it on. I'm ready. We're ready. You're going to be a warrior, Brock. A strong and mighty warrior. There's something in you that's ready to fight. I can feel it :)

I love you so immensely.

xoxo, Mama

Brock on his birthday, wearing his birthday outfit :)

Brock and his 4-tier turtle cake :)

Getting ready to let him dig in!

Another view of the cake....

He's ready to get in there!

Not quite sure about eating it...

Trying to pick up the whole thing.....so he could chuck it on the floor!

I saved it, and he wanted to give me the rest of the cake too.

A little distracted by the balloons behind him....

He may not have eaten much of the cake, but he sure wore a lot of it!

And then he got a fork - which made him want to eat a little bit more of it.

Gift time.....the favorite gift at the moment was the new sippy cup!

After the party, it was time for fun with Nanny!

Brock would sit on the back of the couch and wait (grinning with anticipation)

And then, down he went! He thought it was the best game ever!!!

Sweet Brock - Happy 1st Birthday. I love you so much!